All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
by ranDUMM
Summary: A prank from an unlikely source.


_All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front teeth_

The Burrow was, as usual, hustling and bustling with activity on the noon before Christmas. The last bits of mistletoe were being hung up (there had been a slightly awkward moment when Hermione and Ron had found themselves under mistletoe. Luckily, Mrs Weasley called for Hermione a moment later and Ron was able to relax again), carols were being sung at the top of their voices and the last of the presents were being wrapped.

Fred Weasley was singing "Jolly Molly Christmas" at the top of his voice, a rendition by Fred himself. Charlie was passing him just as he sang one of the erm, 'weirder' parts of the song, and he looked at Fred oddly. Fred winked, laughed and continued singing.

_Oh, ho, the mistletoe  
Hung where you can't see;  
Most probably MOLLY'll be caught,_

_Arthur she'll kiss for everyone to see._

_Have a Molly jolly Christmas,  
And in case you didn't hear,  
By MOLLY , buy a lolly,_

_For it's the MOLLY time of year!  
_

"Fred, those are the worst lyrics I've ever heard!" exclaimed George. "Surely you can do better! The last line… horrible. You're losing your…" George stopped, staring at his… mouth? George's eyes went wide. "Teeth! Fred, you're losing your TEETH!" Fred rolled his eyes.

"You've lost something as well George. Your sense of humour." Fred winked, and walked away, singing at the top of his voice again.

_Oh, ho, the miflepoe_

_Hung where you can'p fee;_

_Moft probably MOLLY'll be caught,_

_Arfur fee'll kiff for everyone to fee._

_Have Molly Fcholly Quiffmaff,_

_And in café you didn't hear,_

_By MOLLY, buy a lolly,_

_For it'f the MOLLY time of year!_

Fred stopped horror-struck. Ginny stared at him.

"Fred… where is your teeth?" Yelling, Fred ran to the bathroom, and sure enough, his two front teeth were gone.

"ARRRRGHHHHH! MUMMMMM! MUMMMM! MY TEEF! VEY'RE GONE!" yelling and screaming nonsense like, "Fifter Fufie fitting on a fiftle!", he ran to the kitchen, where he knew his mother would be making lunch. His mother examined his 'teeth', or lack there-of.

"Practical joke." She said disapprovingly. "GEORGE! GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!" A few seconds later, looking apprehensive, George entered the kitchen, and for once, Fred glared at him.

"Mum, I swear that the gnomes were a joke. We were going to-" started George.

"George, I did not call you down so you could blather on about gnomes!" George went beet red. "I called you down, so you can tell me why you made Fred's teeth disappear!" George looked shocked.

"Mum! I did NOT vanish his teeth! I have better things to do than to prank my partner-in-crime!" Molly looked disbelieving.

"Well, who did do it? Percy?"

"Ginny probably did it!" exclaimed George.

"Excuse you. I did not!" said Ginny indignantly.

"Well, how do I make them grow back?"

"Skele-Gro?" suggested Ron, grinning. Fred jumped up, looking horrified.

"ECFCUFE ME! IM NOT TAKING FCELE-GRO!" shouted Fred, pounding his fists on the kitchen cupboard. Molly jumped up, looking scandalised.

"Fred, stop that!" the kitchen was in silence for a while, except for the wails of Fred and the sniggers coming from Ginny and George.

_Every body Pauses and stares at me_

_These two teeth are gone as you can see_

_I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe!_

_But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!_

Everyone was sitting in front of the fire on Christmas Eve. Fred was transfiguring some scraps of parchment into teeth (while at first it had been something to do for the dejected twin, it was now proving a challenge; he kept changing them into coloured teeth, or dragon's teeth or large horse buck teeth). Ginny and Ron were playing wizard's chess, Bill and Charlie were recounting their days at Hogwarts to a laughing Arthur, Hermione and Percy were deep in argument about elves getting holidays for Christmas, Molly was looking at old photo albums, and would call out every now and then at someone to come and see something, and George and Harry were both rolling around in their chairs laughing at something.

"Hey guys," said Ginny, calling for attention. "I wasn't sure what to get you guys, so… I hope you like the presents!" She bounded to the Christmas tree to start giving out the presents. Then Fred spoke into the silence.

"All I want for Chrifmaf if my two front teef!" There was silence in the room, and then everyone started laughing. George threw him a sympathetic look.

_All I want for Christmas  
is my two front teeth,  
my two front teeth,  
see my two front teeth!_

Gee, if I could only  
have my two front teeth,  
then I could wish you  
"Merry Christmas."

Fred sighed melodramatically as the (rather large) pile of presents appeared in front of him. Most of them were big; too big to be teeth.

"AHHHH! FAT'F IT! WHO ON EARF VANISHED MY TEETH?! YOU BE'AR COME CLEAN!" There was silence in the room, and suddenly _Percy_ of all people, started laughing heartily.

"V-vanish-shing t-teeth! NO TEETH!!" he continued to shake with unsuppressed laughter, tears gashing down his cheeks, earning shocks looks from the inhabitants in the living room; Percy? _Laughing_?

"Percy, you alright mate?" asked Ron, looking extremely alarmed.

"Can't believe you fell for it!" gasped Percy in between laughter. "Can't believe you don't have teeth!"

The living room was even more shocked. Never mind Percy _laughing, _Percy had played a _prank_?!

"Y-you vanifed my teef Perfy?! _You?!_" asked Fred, shocked that he had been tricked by _Percy_ of all people.

Suddenly, Percy looked icy. "What, is it too much to believe that smart, serious Percy could ever have fun?" He waved his wand, and Fred's teeth appeared.

"No," said Fred, surprised. "No, that's not what I meant at all! I just… I don't know." There was a slightly awkward pause. "How about you join us for a prank later?"

The living room waited with bated breath.

"Alright."

In a way, Fred was happy that Percy had actually succeeded in pranking him; because he had never felt closer to his bigger brother, ever.


End file.
